I'd Rather Be With You
by SteneMichele
Summary: What if Edward and Bella had never lost touch during New Moon? What if they had given in to their desire for eachother and written eachother letters?
1. To Dazzling Edward

Dear Edward,

I miss falling asleep to your voice. I miss listening to you run, even though you didn't make any noise at all. I miss the way you would hold me as close as possible, but still as gentle as you would hold a plume, as if you thought you would break me. The thing that I miss the most about you, however, is the reality that you're miles away and it doesn't even matter. It would never, could never, and_ won't ever_ matter because _once _in my life, despite your unfathomable disgust of yourself, you were _everything_ to me.

I've tried, believe me. I've tried so impossibly hard that there were times when

I could have sworn my mind was going to detonate. If trying was an Olympic sport, then I would have taken the gold. But no matter how immense my effort, I just _cannot stop loving you._

Before I seal this envelope with my tears, there are a number of things that I have to say to you. Firstly, your eyes are the most brilliant color that I have ever seen. I will never look into another set of eyes and surreptitiously melt inside like I did every time that you glanced in my direction. When you would gaze into my eyes, roaming to the depths of my heart, you would say a million things without a trace of noise. My life was inevitably devoted to the cadenced pounding of your striking heart.

And now I lay in a meadow filled with my own sinister thunderstorm. You taught me more than I ever thought I was capable of learning, just by being in my life. You taught me much more by leaving me. More than anything else, your absence has taught me that it is a long way back when your dreams are high as mountains. Even though I know that you will never return, I just wanted to let you know that I never will get over you. I will always want to feel your cool skin against my neck, and the scorching intensity of your topaz irises. And as I lay here surrounded by the ominous thunder, I secretly wonder if somewhere, somewhere far away, vampires are playing baseball.

Love always,

Bella


	2. My Fair Bella

My Fair Bella,

Consider this letter a testament of my devotion to your saccharine scent. By 'scent' I do not mean the appeal that you hold for my thirst. By 'scent' I mean the way that every gaze across the table would send my unwary soul into shock. By 'scent' I mean the captivating clarity of your eyes, and the way that they could open gates within me that I thought were glued shut for eternity. By 'scent', my dear Bella, I only mean the way the way that I would trail my fingers through your soft tresses and forget everyone who's jaded because they don't matter and we don't care.

So, my Bella, let's forget the world and rules by which we are to abide! Is there anything that I would like more than to simply be with you? To simply feel your warm touch on my frigid neck would be heaven. It is hurting me to write these words, for I know that they are instilling false hope in the two of us. Bella, nobody knows better than us that it is a treacherous way down when your hopes are great as mountains. When I seal this letter with tears of my own, as you so heartbreakingly put, then the overcast will once more try to kill me. I will imagine your slow motion rain falling on my cheek, and that will keep me alive.

I know those months were wrong, Bella, but they felt so damn right. Those nine months felt like a lifetime. If only I was stronger. If only I was not so vulnerable. If only I had the slightest sense of self-control, and if only you had the slightest sense of self-preservation, then maybe we could have been together like I know we both should be.

So, where does this leave us, my Bella? The United States Postal Service will now bear witness to my undying words, but will _you_? Will you ever believe what I write? It is my deepest dream that you will accept my declaration, but I am not a foolish man, Bella. Have you accepted Mike Newton? If so, I hope you are happy. I do not know what else to say about _that_, but I do know that one day our paths will cross again, Bella. And when they do, I would very much appreciate it if you would keep in mind that men can do terrible things. Bella, if you ever doubt my motives for leaving, just remember that _wherever _I am now, I'd rather be with you. How I wish things were different...

For eternity,

Edward


	3. StarCrossed Lovers Epilogue

_"From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,_

_A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life,_

_Whose misadventured piteous overthrows_

_Doth with their death bury their parents' strife."_

_- _William Shakespeare in_ Romeo and Juliet_

There he goes again. The boy, who goes by the name of Edward, writes with a silky bravado that steals the girl's heart. And Bella, his star struck lover, is responding with a delicate composition of her own that has the same, if not stronger, affect on Edward. They parted with an understanding that they would never meet again, but they both have clandestine ideas that contradict that plan.

Time passes. In strange lurches and dragging lulls but, watching down from heaven, time is consistent. The boy- he darkly paces around the globe. The girl is more subtle. She is hollow and transparent like an infant, but she tries. Their paths are dark and never-ending, yet, somewhere deep inside of the two, they are together once more.


End file.
